all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
