He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
