I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
