She's JV to your varsity
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
