You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
