It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize