I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
