Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
