Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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