these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Randomize
