btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
We need a shit load of segways right now
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize