Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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