THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
