I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
