Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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