quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Damn victory sex feels great
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
