So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
