Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
