She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
