I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
