That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
