I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
