The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
