I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I just googled if crying burns calories
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
