Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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