i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
