lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
