I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize