i permit you to call me
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Randomize
