Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
