you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
