i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
