Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
