my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
