my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
