I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just gargled with NyQuil
A+ Viking dick
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