There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
