Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
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