Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
