Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
