I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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