just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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