i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize