Old men and throwing up are my life now.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
