I accidentally had phone sex last night
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
