Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
