I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
