On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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