My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
