im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Two words: blizzard sex
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