I want to stick my p in your. b.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
