i think my mom watched the whole time
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Randomize
