i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize