That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
