Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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