i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
