worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Randomize
