My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
